Relish The Ride...

It's funny how the universe will give me a nudge when I need it the most, whether I know it or not. Last month while camping with a group of Sisters on the Fly women, I met two gals who are over the moon about kayaking... so much so they go anywhere, anytime, to be on the water. Listening to their excitement, I realized a light switch inside me had been shut off... Let me explain.

In the spring of 1998, I read the book Deep Water Passage, a story about Ann Linnea's midlife spiritual journey, during which she spent sixty-five days kayaking around Lake Superior--the first woman to perform such a feat--while facing dangerous elements and reassessing her life. If you know of the saying, "the teacher appears when the student is ready," Ann was soon to become my teacher and introduce me to the world of sea kayaking, spiritual awakening, and "Calling the Circle." That summer while contemplating ending my marriage to an alcoholic husband, I found myself in what felt like heaven.

Surrounded by nature, nurturing, and newness, I had the opportunity to kayak the magical waters of Desolation Sound off the coast between Vancouver Island and British Columbia with seven women unfamiliar to me led by Ann Linnea and her partner, Christina Baldwin.

We gathered on Cortez Island at the beautiful Tai Li Lodge. After practicing self rescues for the first day, we set off for the remote islands we could see in the distance. Seals were calving, the starfish wore their coats of pink and purple, and eagles flew overhead. Each morning prior to loading and launching our boats, we wrote in our journals, talked about the day ahead, prayed for still waters, and a safe passage. In the evenings, we gathered in our circle at the waters edge to share how we were feeling about that days paddle.

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As minutes turned into days, I felt myself growing physically, emotionally, and spiritually stronger. While it sounds idyllic, there were many times when my whole body ached, the waters were rough, and the winds high. Thankfully, I was too naive to know that I should have been scared shitless several times. What I did know for sure was I had to be aware of my fellow paddlers, the weather having the ability to change on a dime, and most importantly, trusting in my own abilities. Slowly I felt like the "me" I wanted to become emerging. Swimming naked in the warm waters as the bioluminescence shimmered, seeing the sand crabs run away as I peed at the waters edge, watching my tent fly away with the wind, and celebrating my growing warrior spirit was a welcome awakening. After the trip I bought my own kayak and paddled for 15 or more years and then one day, for no particular reason, my boat and I parted ways. In that moment, I gave up the "me" I had found. She was lost to working 12 hour days, commuting, keeping up with five acres of property, a big house, and one loving hubby...(yes, I finally got that part right.)

Fast forward to today. Where I live now, I have 11 fresh water no-wake lakes within easy reach. Between the women I met camping, Janice, the woman I met golfing last week who has a brain aneurysm and is facing surgery next month but is as positive as the day is long and hearing the voice in my ear of a pathologist friend who sees bad shit all day telling me not to wait one more minute... guess what I am buying in celebration of my first Social Security check? ... a brand new inflatable kayak! That's right.

As I have been reminded, don't give up the "me" ... not for one second, one day...ever. Paddle hard, paddle fast, and relish the ride. We only get one. No do-overs.

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To learn more about Ann Linnea, Christina Baldwin, and Calling The Circle, follow these links for more information. https://peerspirit.com/about/ https://www.thecircleway.net/the-circle-way