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The Rise & Fall...




Really? Am I really writing about such a boring topic? Okay hear me out. Yes, I am talking about the rise and fall of sending Thank you Notes. Did the art of sending a thoughtfully written thank you note disappear as quickly as the way texting took over as our primary form of communication?


If you hate the thought of sending thank you notes, you can blame the Egyptians and Romans. Yes, you heard me right. Egyptians didn't believe conversations ceased at the time of death, written notes adorned the treasures inside the tombs. Ancient Roman soldiers’ letters also echoed the practice of sending thanks while angling for advancement. By the 19th century, the practice of letter and sending thank-you note was strict rigor. A formality of tone and proper etiquette were necessary, as were a careful selection of paper, envelope, and ink. So why am I so passionate about thank you notes. Simple. You never know where a simple act of thoughtfulness will lead or how it will make the recipient feel.


For me, the act of sending a simple thank you note had a major impact on my future. The year was 1976 and I had recently completed my junior year at Purdue University. Money was tight for my family and being able to finish my senior year was not looking good. My brother, who was also attending Purdue, was a "resident assistant." Basically, he was a babysitter and dorm policeman to a bunch of hormone driven engineering students. And the best part? The university covered all his costs. (tuition, room and board, and food) Damn, I knew if he could do, I could too. That summer I applied only to be told I had not been selected as a resident assistant but I was on the "short list" if anyone declined. It was in that moment I learned a very important life lesson. My father suggested I send a thank you note to each dorm manager and thank them for their consideration and express my ongoing interest in a position if they had an opening. The rest it history. There was an opening and the manager at McCutcheon Hall said my note made the difference. I finished my senior year and the only thing I had to pay for was my football ticket.


Indeed, a thoughtfully composed thank-you note to simply express gratitude to someone shouldn’t be underestimated. More recent research published in Psychological Science suggests that people who wrote the gratitude letters consistently reported being in more positive spirits, which underscores the existing research on the effects of expressing thanks.


While I know I am not perfect, and may have forgotten sending a note or two myself...all I can say is shame on me. And yet next time someone invites me to a dinner party and spends time and thought on making it special, you can bet a note will be on its way. And next time I host a party or send a wedding gift, a thank you note received sets "those" friends apart. Emails don't count. Amen



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